So I’m watching Love and Hip Hop for some shenanigans to dissect and I come across a sad but all too familiar occurrence: a Black woman being pressured to get her body done. I cringed as the owner responded to a question about how music is going to be pitched with “I’m gonna get your body done.” As if a woman who gets her body done will magically become the next big star. He was adamant about and said it with passion and confidence, so he must really believe it. The question is, has it really become a necessity for women.

Now I am not about to speak ill of women getting their bodies done, nor will I speak positively of up. My purpose in writing this is to speak to social pressures. If for whatever reason, a woman wants to get her body done, it’s her body I’m not trying to police it; do what makes you happy. My only question would be, are you really doing it to make YOU happy or to attempt to make everyone who looks at you happy?

In this clip, Phresher who is a label owner is pressuring Jennaske who is an artist and often times when it comes to entertainment we will justify these types of ideas by saying “well you know the music industry is vain.” What I suppose to you today is that because of how everything in entertainment is promoted and because of social media, these ideas have seeped into women who aren’t in the entertainment industry. I’ve seen women who deliver mail get their bodies and it isn’t anything vain about being a mail courier so why would they feel the need to get theirs done?

I believe the answer to that is found in the video. When Jennaske is against getting her body done, Phresher says “Look at everybody you’re up against. Their bodies are RIGHT.” This right here is the problem. FEELING LIKE YOU’RE IN A COMPETITION. In competitive sports, athletes have done things that were harmful to their bodies all to keep up with the competition and this is no difference.

Now understand, if you’re thee children in and you went to get some work to simply look like the old you, I’m not talking about you. Jenna ain’t but 23 years old, she doesn’t have an old body to get back to. And there are countless other women in her age bracket and older who are really only getting the surgeries to keep up with the women they see on social media every day. Women who have gotten their bodies done having a million plus followers and being reposted as a million different men’s WCW can make it seem like the only way to relatively be relevant in today’s world is to just do what they did. But is that true?

Is it really a necessity?

Ladies, as a man I can tell you there are large amounts of men who still appreciate a good ole fashioned regular smegular body. That doesn’t mean we might not get caught up on social media looking at the glammed up women but trust me when I tell you, most of the times we don’t see those women as anything past social media eye candy. Even though they may be good to look at, they’re not what we’re always looking for.

Again, I am not trying to shame the women who have chosen to get their bodies done. Do your thing and be happy if it makes you happy. I’m speaking to the women who feel pressured. To the women who feel inadequate. To the women who fell unattractive. To the women who feel they may be picked over, undesirable or made to feel like they’re not enough. To those women I say to you, when a pipe give in to pressure it burst but when a pipe is able to just let whatever comes it’s way flow, it stays intact.

You will never be able to properly love yourself if the world can continually tell you that you have to change to be somebody. You are somebody just as you are and whoever doesn’t recognize that has the problem, not you. I know this may be easier said than done. I know the pressures are real. I know being bombarded with images can breed insecurities and if you have developed them, I don’t want you to feel ashamed or feel weak. There is absolutely nothing wrong you. You are perfectly you even if you’re not everyone’s cup of tea.

So to answer the question the blog title, NO it is not a necessity for women to get their bodies done. It a choice that women are free to make BUT if you chose not to, you can still be everything God created you be because what’s special about you is in and no plastic surgeon can put it in you or take it out of you.

For a guide to help you discover your natural value, pick up a copy of Love Your Naked Self.